My Life Is Jason: Oh, Facebook...

Sometimes Facebook is irritating. Like when it drags me back four times during a day even though nothing is going on.

Sometimes Facebook is hilarious. Like yesterday and today.

Here, recorded for all you non-facebookers and for posterity, is yesterday's status.

Jason's Profile · Jason's Wall

Jason Ray
Mildly witty comment on the days happenings, possibly including a subtle pop culture reference and a smiley face.
21 hours ago · · ·
- Collin Sanderson, Christine Holmes, Taylor Petty and 13 others like this.
- Nicole Hopper clever comment on how you are original and creative.
  21 hours ago ·
  
  Jessica Seeger Astonishment at the awesomeness of that status, illustrated by this highly awestruck comment
  21 hours ago ·
  
  Tucker Denton Party poop. Michelle Peralta blah blah blah. Condemn mormons for their self-righteousness, finish off with a statement such as "No Offense," or "Just Sayin," so as to eliminate guilt.
  21 hours ago ·  ·  3 people
  
  Tessa Wilkerson Link to a related and funny youtube video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbhrz1-4hN4
  21 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  
  Jessica Seeger Affirmation of the validity and hilariousness of previously posted video.
  20 hours ago ·
  
  Tucker Denton Continue to party poop. Movie is inappropriate, and mocks things that are awesome. Cite grammy winners that were cool.
  20 hours ago ·
  
  Jessica Seeger Shock at disagreement; half-hearted attempt to find a middle ground.
  20 hours ago ·
  
  Tucker Denton Utter disregard for your ill-founded attempts at compromise. Death by language, spewing volcanic ash in the form of hurtful words. Finish with just sayin.
  20 hours ago ·
  
  Jessica Seeger Tears of anguish and hurt expressed in the form of depressed words. Claim to go cry in a corner.
  20 hours ago ·
  
  Jason Ray Frantic attempt to mediate dispute, switching between urging reconciliation and threatening to delete comments.
  20 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  
  Carolyn Swenson Acknowledgment of vast amusement provided by refreshingly humorous status and its sprightly comments all equaling it in its possession of the wit-factor.
  20 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  
  David Bingham Assertion that all of the above was better on vinyl, and that I am vastly superior for already having experienced it. Twice. This morning.
  19 hours ago ·  ·  4 people
  
  Carolyn Swenson Inquiry as to what the HFAC David is referring.
  19 hours ago ·
  
  Carlos Grandela Loss of bowel control because of laughter XD
  19 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  
  Nico Reed completely irrelevant comment
  19 hours ago ·  ·  7 people
  
  Michael Zarian agreement with nico's irrelevant comment followed by winky face
  18 hours ago ·
  
  Nico Reed Continues irrelevant conversation with michael that precedes to take up 50 comments... And you guys get a notification. For. Each. Comment.
  18 hours ago ·
  
  Michael Zarian apology for excessive notifications with underlying trace of insincerity. leaves status conversation to go hang out with nico
  18 hours ago ·
  
  Nico Reed vague statement about in n out and texting me
  18 hours ago ·
  
  Lauren Fine Sadness at having missed this conversation last night, and appreciation for David's hipster humor.
  11 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  
  Tucker Denton Reference to conversation BEFORE all the intrusions by people with nothing important at all to say. Continue to rail on any and everyone who disagrees with me. Utter disregard for other's feelings, and intense need to be seen as vastly superior to all.
  9 hours ago ·
  
  David Bingham Point out grammatical errors in the above post, question intelligence, and mention that I may be a vegetarian.
  8 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  
  Jason Ray Throw up hands (in despair) at unfolding conversation. State intention to move to do something drastic, such as move to Madagascar.
  5 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  
  Nicole Hopper expression of regret for having commented on a seemingly innocent post.
  5 hours ago ·
  
  Michael Zarian approval of david's love of grammar. comment to the rest of the people commenting on the status concerning jason's new found craziness and proposal to remove him as a friend
  5 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  
  Jason Ray Defensive backlash suggesting I make a preemptive strike and remove you first. Cocky bemoaning of the cleverness that caused me to post said status in the first place.
  5 hours ago ·
  
  Nico Reed
  INSANE EXCLAMATION OF SHEER ECSTATIC JOY AS I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE SUBTLE POP CULTURE REFERENCE. then a statement of your sheer wit (while still ignoring the conversation that has been going on the entire time).
  
  *rapidly removes old comments to avoid looking dumb.. unfortunately leaving michael looking like a fumbling fool talking to himself*
  5 hours ago ·
  
  Michael Zarian rapidly deletes all comments from status making jason appear to be attacking nicole. goes to in n out with nico
  5 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  
  Tucker Denton Forced apology. Mom read post.
  4 hours ago ·  ·  5 people
  
  David Bingham JASON used CLEVER STATUS against EVERYONE's boredom!
  
  It's super effective!
  3 hours ago ·
  
  David Bingham Now can we please stop this?
  3 hours ago ·  ·  1 person
  
  Nico Reed Is it too mainstream for you to enjoy?
  2 hours ago ·  ·  2 people