Sunday, October 10, 2010

A Really Amazing Experience.

A short introduction to "A Really Amazing Experience."
Last week, I won the "cheesiest narrative" contest in my writing class (I think the prize was 1 extra credit point). I think this is perhaps the worst thing I've ever written--I love it. So, here it is!
Note: This is completely made up. No worries, I'm still VL.

A really amazing experience

A few weeks ago, I was at a friend's house baking cookies. My friend, whose name is Patricia, really likes making cookies. I also like making cookies, but more than I like making I cookies I like Patricia; she is the apple of my eye. While we were making cookies she started talking to me about my hopes and dreams, and who I wanted to be. I told her about my dream of taking over the world and being the first ever completely benevolent—and absolutely feared—dictator. I asked her if she wanted to help me take over the world. I don't really remember what she said, but I think she laughed and then we stopped talking about taking over the world.

While the cookies were baking, we walked around Patricia's house. It was a very interesting place. I think when I get to buy a house, I want to get a house that is a lot like Patricia's, because her house was really neat. It may be really expensive, but I think I could get someone to sell it to me because I'm a really good person and everyone loves me. Everyone loves me so much, in fact, that people sometimes throw things at me—I think it's like trying to touch me from far away, since not everyone can touch me up close. I'm just that awesome.

Anyway, that doesn't really have anything to do with the story, so time to get back to business and put the petal to the metal. Patricia and I kept walking around her house, but then the stove timer beeped so we took the cookies out of the oven. I didn't burn my hand on the pan, but I thought it would probably have hurt if I had.

So, we ate some cookies, which I didn't think tasted very good but pretended to so that Patricia would like me. Now this is where it gets interesting. Patricia said that she really, really liked me. I said that I really, really liked her. Then we kissed, and it was pretty amazing, and I get little goosebumps when I think about it now. The moral of this story is, if you are as totally awesome as I am, girls will want to kiss you.


cindy baldwin said...

LOL - funny. Though it's actually "pedal to the metal." ;)

OK, LOL again! My word verification was "nutnat." What the heck?

mom said...

LOL!! What I want to know is what kind of grade you got on it! ;)

Jason said...

Well hey, misspellings makes it an even worse essay! I think I'll leave it.
It was just a participation grade, but I did get one extra credit point :D

Lauren Fine said...

I know I already read this, but I just wanted to tell you again how rediculous it is. I love all of the totally irrelevant details. Way to go. :) You should read mine sometime, though it's not nearly as cheesy as yours because mine's actually a true story, and my life is not very cheesy. :)
The awards in my class were cheetos. They're dangerously cheesy.

Jason said...

Hahaha! That's fantastic! I love plays on phrases like that :D